~hereticschizoid

Danielle

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Fuck My Life

Thu Feb 12, 2009, 12:33 PM

Mood: Worried
Listening to: Eminem- I'm Back
Reading: fmylife.com
Watching: The Colbert Report
Playing: Guitar Hero 4
Eating: Cereal
Drinking: water

Today, I finally broke my two year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML

I have spent hours on here today...

[link]

Today, I gave my girlfriend non-alcoholic beer as a joke. In slurred speech she tells me I have the body of a monk seal. She then takes my keys, staggers to my car, and drives away. She crashed into a tree 2 blocks later. She's fine. FML

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

Today, I woke up and I'm still in the Marine Corps. FML

Today, I bought a jacket with real fur on it. Turns out, i'm allergic and now my ears look like they have herpes on them. FML

Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML

In other news, my gorgeous Seagate Free Agent external terabyte hard drive has arrived. I now have over 110 GB of music. Yay... but now Utorrent keeps shitting itself for no apparent reason. Fuck.

I'm currently waiting to hear back from a job application to a bakery (I have great references from the owner and from the manager of a bakery I just worked at.) I'm worried about how I'm going to cover rent next month if I don't find roommates and a job. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I've done what I can though so now I'm going to get stoned and try not to stress.

Ugh.

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~aforb-anduforme Feb 12, 2009, 4:53:38 PM

You could win the lottery. I hear that happens.

~hereticschizoid Feb 12, 2009, 7:38:34 PM

I don't gamble so prolly not

--
Donate 20 grains of rice playing a word game... it's addictive
"Kind words do not cost much. Yet they accomplish much." -Blaise Pascal.

*wazzdakka Feb 13, 2009, 3:56:20 AM

Just steal shit, seriously.

It's the easiest way to live in Oblivion, so it must work in real life too, right?

--
"See, sex and magic have a lot in common. They're both mysterious and spiritual, involve going through an occasional trap door, and, in my case, are always performed for a live audience."

`jnc Feb 14, 2009, 5:13:55 PM

I paid $0.25 to get fired - LOL

that has happened to me, but it was such a shambolic operation, I was told by another employee

--
...a pathetic, adolescent fantasy which doesn't take into account the immense amount of responsibility and effort required to rule over an empire larger than any other.

`Prince-des-Sots, on the fallaciousness of world domination

~SolestiaL Feb 19, 2009, 5:04:22 PM

She sounds like a jerk, you're better off without her at least

.

--
~

For being to afraid to cry, to mourn, to admit to myself and too afraid to comfort you, I'm sorry Gizmo. God bless you, rest in heaven, amen. Live your afterlife in peace Tigy, you are missed

[link]

~hereticschizoid Feb 20, 2009, 3:04:18 PM

lol that wasn't me... it was a post on the site I linked to.

--
Donate 20 grains of rice playing a word game... it's addictive
"Kind words do not cost much. Yet they accomplish much." -Blaise Pascal.