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Atlantic by ~hereticschizoid:iconhereticschizoid:

Categories Scraps




Can you know someone you've never met
love someone you've never known
Can you feel someone you've never touched
feel like you are not alone.

Can you hold someone close
with an ocean between
Feel the hands
that you've never seen

Can you taste the lips
that you've never kissed
Daydream clear through
a wall of mist.

Yes.
©2004-2009 ~hereticschizoid
:iconhereticschizoid:

Author's Comments

:blushes:

The good news: I think I've gotten my poeticness back.

The bad news: It is all sappy poeticness now :shakefist:

oh well. I'll be happy with what I can get =D

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconseveneves:
~seveneves Mar 5, 2004, 5:58:19 AM
i was going to say yes too, but you beat me to it. this is a great piece, i like all your stuff though come to think of it =P
excellent work, i love it.

--
it's ironic considerate rarity patron of love higher knowledge engulfs me...
:iconhereticschizoid:
~hereticschizoid Mar 5, 2004, 6:03:36 AM
:-) thanks :hug: very very glad you enjoyed it :boogie:
:iconspandoola:
!spandoola Mar 5, 2004, 6:14:22 AM
hi what do you want to be awhen your older ..whats your plans

--
She turned me into a newt... a got better
:icondiamondie:
*diamondie Mar 5, 2004, 6:39:48 AM
Indeed a sappy and cheesy piece, really lacking originality. Could do with less repetition and more imagery, like the ocean and the wall of mist. Many of the lines would sound much more poetic with removal of some words and some editing, like "Can you know someone you've never met" could become "knowing without having met", but that would change the poem a lot, of course. I liked the title, Atlantic.

I'm not a big fan of poetry that asks question and answers them in the end, it feels like underestimating of the reader. Questions don't always have to be answered and if they are, it shouldn't be the simplest way possible.
:iconoblitter:
~Oblitter Mar 5, 2004, 7:44:04 AM
I agree. :) :hug: It's hard to do, to trust someone you have never seen, but I've managed so far...

--
I'm a recently turned emoticonist.... pls be brutal with the comments.. I need improvement
:iconrebelrebel:
~rebelrebel Mar 5, 2004, 7:51:48 AM
Wow... it's sappy in a good way. I like it. But I'm a sappy guy.

--
* I would go out tonight *
* But I haven't got a stitch to wear *
* This man said it's gruesome *
* That someone so handsome should care *
:iconsparquelito:
~Sparquelito Mar 5, 2004, 8:26:03 AM
Very sweet, and bravely personal.

I like it.
:-)
:iconmegabytemonster:
!megabytemonster Mar 5, 2004, 11:33:28 AM
Very nice poem. I agree with the previous comment though, the ending is too simplistic.
:iconluvjoi:
*luvjoi Mar 5, 2004, 11:54:22 AM
very nice :aww:

you CAN fall in love with someone you never met because out there is someone you never knew you always wanted.
very romantic poem.

--
wait......did I really just say that? :confused:
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